Never would I have to do anything so prosaic as ferrying my children to school or driving to my job in an out-of-town business park: I was destined for gayer things.
I always knew I was going to live in a city when I was older, so learning to drive seemed like a waste of time. When I was 17, when most of my peers were learning to drive, I was too busy taking mephedrone and playing synth in a band with my female best friend – which is, however you look at it, pretty gay.
